In previous blogs, I shared that “attitude is the key” for many problems, especially in negotiation. Today, I will share with you a thing that can help you to succeed in a negotiation, or it will destroy you if you don’t know how to control it. Yes, it’s your “anger”.
Anger may be an effective tool for you in negotiation, BUT only when you can totally control it. And if you become angry unintentionally and easily because of your emotions and external impact, you might lose that agreement and your time and effort will go to waste.
So before you come to the negotiation, like a preparation, you have to review what is the igniter for your anger. Sit alone, think slowly, avoid any stresses included incoming calls,… don’t ever underestimate any below factors, because maybe it will be a reason causing a strong impact on your emotions:
- Eye contact (or not)
- Some specific word
- The smell
- Some specific gestures
- Colour (alluding to clothes, is it gaudy?)
- Sound (around you)
- Temperature (where you are)
- …
Sometimes, an igniter isn’t a specific thing, it is a situation, for example:
- Someone brings you an agreement, suggestion, opinion,… that is offensive to you.
- Your opinions, contributions are ignored.
- Your knowledge, honesty is doubted or even insulted.
- You feel like you are being made fun of.
- …
If right now you are or were being like that, you have to fix and change immediately. List all reasons that affect your negotiation capacity before making it become better. Then, find a solution for each reason. For example: if you know sitting in a hot room without any windows will make you easier to get angry (or your partner), you have to arrange the negotiation in a well-ventilated room or with air conditioning.
In short, just remember:
- Learn to understand what your igniters make you get angry.
- You totally can prevent yourself from anger, but only when you are learned to control it.
- If someone is deliberately making you get angry, find a way to pause your negotiation and continue after you keep your head calm.
Hope all those things I mentioned above can help you to avoid unnecessary risks in your negotiations.
